I am trying not to be angry, I really am. I am trying to remain thankful, but it is hard at times. Up and down, down and up…I hate this rollercoaster. We move to the step down unit, Christian is doing really good, feeding, breathing completely on his own, pooping all that good stuff. Well today a couple of nurses are looking at his aspirations and notice that he is retracting to breath….I noticed it to…but didn’t say anything…I thought it would calm down after a while. Well the doctor came in and said he sounds good normal, no fluid on his lungs are anything like that. His oxygen levels have been in the high 80’s to mid 90’s. Well the doctor goes on to say that they did another eco today and basically it shows a difference in one of the veins, it was at a 3 on the 8th and today the 14th it is at a 10 which means that the vein is narrowing, which causes pressure and could allow fluid to get into his lungs. In order to fix this problem it would require another surgery outside of the 2 that we know he will have to have. So needless to say I am frustrated. As soon as I see light at the end of the tunnel, it like it closes up. And then on top of that another doctor comes in and talks about another condition that Christian may be dealing with…although ALL the tests are coming back inconclusive, he is eating and pooping fine…then he talks about another surgery…aahhhhhhh!!!!!! And even as I sit here in the hospital typing this up there are 2 nurses in here changing his TPN’s and another 2 “student” nurses who are poking and prodding him. I just want to yell at all of them GET OUT!! And then I just want to scream and cry.